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FOOD Network

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sixpack
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:44 pm Reply with quote
ORDER OF THE SKULL ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 17 Feb 2003 Posts: 10246 Location: Long Island, NY
I am a Food Network junkie since college so I'd like to write some time wasting thoughts on my favorite channel. It's good background while reading, you can nap to it with a Saturday morning hangover (um, er, not like I ever have those) and more often than not you can pick up something new/different to cook.
PLUS, this thread can't be any more of a train wreck than oh, say....the most famous one of all time!

Feel free to add, agree, disagree:

*I miss the original Iron Chef late at night.

*Losing Bourdain was a total mistake.

*The Essence of Emeril is better than the live broadcast recycling the same 1 liners for over 7 years ("I don't know where you get your flour, where I get mine it don't come seasoned!" Ugh...). The evening show had it's run.

*Simply Delicioso is simply awful. Nice rack, but I'll check youporn.com rather than have you show me how to make guacamole dip.


*Paula Dean with her drawl and ear splitting cackle make my acid reflux gurgle. I also think her sons bat for the other team.

*I like a lot of dishes Ina Garten (Barefoot Contessa) cooks but I have serious questions about this relationship with the strange, elusive Jeffrey. SERIOUS QUESTIONS.

*Nothing is better than Giada with a low cut shirt and...
-rolling out dough
-smacking the side of a bowl with the palm of her hand
-shaking parmesean cheese
-whisking something.

*Can they PLEASE STOP pushing this douchenozzle named GUY and his BIG BITE on us??
#1: Dude. The hair.
#2: You're an utter tool.
#3: I do not need you to tell me a greasy cheeseburger from a Diner at midnight in Jersey tastes good.
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Christian
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:54 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 16 Jul 2003 Posts: 2986 Location: Connecticut
I fully agree with the majority of the points, but I have to say, Giada is very annoying. The way she pronounces/emphasizes italian words is brutal. I caught a few episodes of Jamie at Home. I like the way he uses fresh produce. pretty rad. did i ever tell you i saw emeril, wasted at the beverly hills hotel bar?
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MMS
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:56 pm Reply with quote
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Joined: 03 Jul 2003 Posts: 15099 Location: Heaven or Hell...kinda hard to tell.
Agreed 100% on all fronts.

I want more "man" cooking shows. Grilling/smoking/etc. "Boy Meets Grill" doesn't really do it for me. "License to Grill" on TLC is pretty good...but I want a show with an 80 year old Black pit boss showing you how to cook.

Real food for real people...garnish and swirls do nothing for me. Give me heaps of dead animals slow cooked/grilled to perfection, and interesting sides.

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I'm kinda over it...
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Christian
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:00 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 16 Jul 2003 Posts: 2986 Location: Connecticut
speaking of meat and man shows... ive got a couple of steaks i want to cook tonight, any ideas? sorry nick, dont want to derail the thread, just need a quick suggestion
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sixpack
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:03 pm Reply with quote
ORDER OF THE SKULL ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 17 Feb 2003 Posts: 10246 Location: Long Island, NY
Christian wrote:
Giada is very annoying. The way she pronounces/emphasizes italian words is brutal.


What, you don't like....

MARRRRSCAPOOONN----EEEE!!!
PANCHHHHHETTTA!
BRUSSSCHE--TTTAA!


DO tell a drunken Emeril story!
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sixpack
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:08 pm Reply with quote
ORDER OF THE SKULL ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 17 Feb 2003 Posts: 10246 Location: Long Island, NY
Stab the fuckers with a fork or knife on each side a bunch of times.
Dump worchestire sauce into a bowl.
Let 'em soak.
take 'em out and spice 'em however you like with garlic, parsley flakes, pepper, etc.
Grill 'em however you like.
When you think they're about a minute away crumble bleu-goat-gorgonzola whatever cheese on the top till it melts.
Serve!

Just like you get at Smith & Wollenksy in Chicago and you don't have to pay $75.00
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Christian
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:10 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 16 Jul 2003 Posts: 2986 Location: Connecticut
It's actually not that great. I was in the beverly hills hotel bar about 6 years ago, underage and i was with a friend with a fake id and another underage friend. his parents were footing the whole bill for the weekend, including drinks. so we're having our friend order beers and shots, then we would all take turns slugging down the drinks. Well , we see emeril over in the corner booth with some girl.. my friend was obsessed with that guy, so he walks over with a drink, sits at the booth next to the girl and starts asking emeril cooking questions.. emeril got pissed, called over a waiter and they kicked my friend out, came over to our table and saw me and the other dude drinking shots and beers and kicked us out too. it was a pretty fun night
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bigbadnin
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:16 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 03 Aug 2004 Posts: 3316 Location: 2 hours from ANYTHING!
Do you have Food Network HD yet?

They offer some different shows than Food Network. Only bad thing iis they show a lot of reruns since most shows were not originally shot in hi-def.

There's nothing better than seeing food 65 inches of High Definition...





The biggest problem I have is that I live in a small town and I can't find half of the ingredients in most of the recipes...
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Sticky
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:40 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 10 May 2005 Posts: 1957
sixpack wrote:
*The Essence of Emeril is better than the live broadcast recycling the same 1 liners for over 7 years ("I don't know where you get your flour, where I get mine it don't come seasoned!" Ugh...). The evening show had it's run. .


Yes, absolutely, couldn't agree more. He looks like he's about to keel over from a heart attack though.


sixpack wrote:
* Nice rack,


Agreed





sixpack wrote:
*I like a lot of dishes Ina Garten (Barefoot Contessa) cooks but I have serious questions about this relationship with the strange, elusive Jeffrey. SERIOUS QUESTIONS.


No shit! unsettling

sixpack wrote:

*Nothing is better than Giada with a low cut shirt and...
-rolling out dough
-smacking the side of a bowl with the palm of her hand
-shaking parmesean cheese
-whisking something.


Something about her rubs me wrong



sixpack wrote:
*Can they PLEASE STOP pushing this douchenozzle named GUY and his BIG BITE on us??
#1: Dude. The hair.
#2: You're an utter tool.
#3: I do not need you to tell me a greasy cheeseburger from a Diner at midnight in Jersey tastes good.


NO SHIT! I saw this show the other night, he was ordering around his friends and appeared real artificial and condescending.

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sixpack
Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 3:48 pm Reply with quote
ORDER OF THE SKULL ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 17 Feb 2003 Posts: 10246 Location: Long Island, NY
bigbadnin wrote:


The biggest problem I have is that I live in a small town and I can't find half of the ingredients in most of the recipes...


Spice rack.
I cannot emphasize enough investing in buying the right spices.

If you can find a good selection of vegetables, steak, chicken, tofu, pork, rice, noodles, etc....you can make HUNDREDS of great dishes. All you need is the basics, you don't need Otoro Tuna, Foie Gras or Kobe Beef (overrated, by the way) to cook a kick ass meal.

I don't go crazy with buying exotic fish either...I go out and have someone else find-cook that!
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