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| pig city |
 Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 9:21 am |
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Joined: 24 Mar 2003
Posts: 2208
Location: Brighton UK
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Sorry to hear that fella, we lost our cat last year he was 16 and so spritley up to the last few months . He succumbed to a form of cancer was so sad to see him get weaker.
Still miss him everyday.... |
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PIG CITY
BRIGHTON UK |
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| Danno |
| Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:27 am |
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Joined: 10 Jul 2002
Posts: 3497
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I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. It is heartbreaking. Recent research has shown that animals that were called "domestic" animals and considered to have no consciousness (by scientists) do defintely have conciousness, awareness of their own feelings. My thought is that none of the "scientists" who have forever said "people who anthromorphosise their pets and have feelings this strong about their pet(s) are idiots" ever shared their life with a cat or dog. They are the foolish ones.
My wonderful Scottish Terrier, Ella passed in late November 2011. She literally saved my life. I think about her every day. Sometimes if I wake in the middle of the night and I've left a pair of jeans in a heap by the bottom of my bed in the dark it looks like her sleeping just where she used to. It's a heartbreaker when the brain wakes fully and I realise it's not her.
I know how you feel Rob. You will feel better, it'll take a while but you'll have his memory in your mind and your love for him and his for you in your heart forever. Animals are so much more than most people realise. |
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| radrob |
| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 2:05 pm |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 30 Apr 2002
Posts: 6751
Location: under a rock at times...
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Thank you all...i have read and will continue to read each and every comment made here..and for those invinting me into their lives of animals lost...i empathize your losses as well.
What "eats" at me internally is,i could have been a better owner. 
I spent not nearly as much time as i should have involved in his (male cat) life as i,in hindsight, spent more time with my own selfish,day to day rituals.its almost as though i just provided the basics and not much else aside from the occasional pet on the head or less than a 5 minute chase the noisy mouse toy interaction...
I just am riddled with so much guilt knowing that to some degree,i took him for granted. as i go to put food for the two cat bowls...i sob and cry knowing there is only one to fill..looking into my females cats eyes,i know it will be a matter of time now before she starts to question me with her eyes or meows,as to where her other cuddle friend is...me knowing that he is in the buried cold soil with no more warmth to be given..
i didnt think this would have that profound of a impact,but it has.... 
As i write these thoughts aloud..my female cat just lied on top of my arm,on the bed...i think she knows and shows me how she feels through her actions...
Man..this is tough... |
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| alldayphila |
| Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 7:16 pm |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 29 Jan 2010
Posts: 713
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| I wouldn't beat yourself up over how much time you didn't spend with your lost bud. Cats are solitary animals and I'm sure he appreciated all the love you gave him. My 13 year old tabby "Ollie" has been dealing with diabetes and losing him has been on my mind a lot recently. You're post and everyone's responses has really hit home. Hope your grief passes swiftly. |
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| Colin05 |
| Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 6:34 am |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 07 Jan 2013
Posts: 3666
Location: Sydney, Australia
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Hey Rob, like AllDayPhila said, don't beat yourself up.
Cats are very independent. Food, water, clean cat litter and a little love keeps them happy.
I've lost cats, dogs and rats over the years. And, I have to say, the older I get, the harder it gets.
When I lost the first of my two rats, which I shared with my ex, just after our divorce, I cried every day, except 6 days, for 3 months. I'm not ashamed to admit it.
When I was finally ready, after 2 years from losing my last cat, I adopted a lost black and white boy, Henry. I fell in love with his squeaky meow.
After 9 months, I could tell that he was lonely. Working two jobs to pay my mortgage and bills, I wasn't home much.
I adopted a lost ginger girl, Martha, 3 months. I had always wanted a ginger cat. Plus, she has the cutest meow where her cheeks curl up.
Luckily they got along straight away. Playing and sleeping together. When they clean each other, it makes me melt.
Since your post, which brought tears to my eyes, I've been showing them extra love each day.
I don't know what I would do if anything happened to either of them. They are my life and best friends.
Take care.
PM me anytime if you want to talk. |
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| TAOS |
| Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 12:59 pm |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 14 Oct 2008
Posts: 11330
Location: Fuck_mOOk FL
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radrob wrote:
I spent not nearly as much time as i should have involved in his (male cat) life as i,in hindsight, spent more time with my own selfish,day to day rituals.its almost as though i just provided the basics and not much else aside from the occasional pet on the head or less than a 5 minute chase the noisy mouse toy interaction......
Don't do this man, it's not healthy....we all feel that way at some point about a pet, spouse, job or maybe your own kid. We all (well we all should) love our pets...but they are just that...pets. I personally am not a cat person.....at all, but when I had to put my lab down, I did cry like a little girl...it means you have feelings and you care.....
If you have this guilt, then make it a point to not have it again, learn from it.....it'll make you a better person in the long run....but fuck, don't continue to let it ruin your day...pull up your pants and go skate, or drink or go duck dollas at the strip joint |
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hotrod wrote: fuck off yer ball-less fag!
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| Danno |
| Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 5:42 pm |
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Joined: 10 Jul 2002
Posts: 3497
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I'd say that at six days Radrob is not wallowing in self pity, or beating himself up, but working through grief. That's a complex process and different for all of us. I think each person should do what feels right for them.
Animals are pets to some and friends/companions to others. It depends on how you feel about animals and life as well.
Rob, PM any time.
Bogart and his Scottie "Sluggy"
Bowie and his Scottie
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| palmer628 |
| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 12:29 am |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 3479
Location: san jose,california
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My condolences to you man...
It's always hard losing a friend like that and you were I'm sure a great owner and gave him a wonderful home.
I felt the same way when my Sadie passed I was a wreck and took two weeks off work.
Just remember all the good times you two shared...
If you ever want to chat or share stories hit me up. |
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| radrob |
| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 12:58 am |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 30 Apr 2002
Posts: 6751
Location: under a rock at times...
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I cant say things have gotten any easier...there are 2 parts of me trying to dominate the other subconciously...one part wants to continue to mourn because that part feels i need to "let it out" i order to move forward. .the other part feels i should "tough it out" and spend as little time dwelling on it because thats how that side deals with tragedy and adversity..
I did,for a moment..contmplate whether or not i was doing more harm than good in this world..and what i have amounted to at this point in time...sometimes the hurt in me is intensified by the few times i try yo reach out to family and friends closest to me...with all the times i have been there for them...at one of the few points in life i would hope to have some form of consolement....not one person cared to share a moment of their time for me as i have many times over for them...
That brought me to a point...when if anyone knows here..if you get the first signs of diabetes...those individuals may have experienced their hearts literally pounding in a deep throbbing way..against their chest...with every shit made thoughtless comment...going straight into your heart as you stay there,unable to do anything at the time about it...
So much heavy guilt and no one to lend an ear in need...the few times i ask anyone for anything...i felt numb and without feeling..i began to carve lines in my arm to try and "feel"..anything ...and didnt for a while until i realized after covering the underside of my arm with knife welts...that some part of me took over and wanted to leave this place..as my cat did..because i felt hollow and of no value to anyone...but if i left...who would look after my other cat because i became irradically impulsive and selfish..for a final time?just when you are at your lowest point of worth..people around you have no understanding of what youre experienceing and are "about themselves "first and foremost. ..needless to say i dont know what came over me but i am trying real hard to not get "kicked" like that again...
You just cant expose to much of yourself to anyone and have to keep a "wall up" and let people earn in time,the ability to remove it brick by brick with time and trust invested..i think i am ok for the time being..but never saw that side of me that wanted to just "give up" before... |
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Bend up and smell my anal vapor, your face is my toilet paper!! |
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| Colin05 |
| Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 6:22 am |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 07 Jan 2013
Posts: 3666
Location: Sydney, Australia
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Stay strong brother.
If you can't do it for yourself right now, do it for your other cat.
If I lived near you I would be jumping in my car right now.
I've got scars too. It's not worth it. But I understand just wanting to feel something.
Take care. |
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RIP Hotrod
Want:
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