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| radrob |
 Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2017 11:37 pm |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 30 Apr 2002
Posts: 6752
Location: under a rock at times...
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I am not one to normally share how i feel with anyone but since i have been here a while. Here goes..
One of my eldest cats passed away today.he was a male tabby and i have a black female cat as well.my tabbys health hasnt been good since he had gone blind..so this was a behavioural change when it had happened. One day i put fresh step crystals in the litter box and saw my tabby eat them.nothing had happened but the next several days he started to lose weight.come today i had a bad feeling about something even nauseous like...as i came home and into my room...i saw him lying on the floor ,mouth open slightly and lifeless next to my female cats bed.i then looked at his ribcage to see if there was any breathing and there wasnt and then began to call out his name with no response.i felt his body and there was no warmth..just coldness and a non responsive body. 
Since it was close to nightime and most places that would assist in his transition were closed,i had to dig up a makeshift grave and say goodbye.
In reflection,and honesty..i wish i would have done several things in hindsight better.needless to say..i dont have a friend anymore that loved me unconditionally through good times and bad,that a day or 2 before he passed,my male cat squezzed my finger with his paw to let me know that he wanted me around for his final days.as he meowed in a different tone,as i hugged him whilst my male cat being blind,it comforted him to make him stop for a few moments as the end,he knew,and i hadnt a clue about,came near.
I havent felt an heavy emptines like this for some time,internal grief as well.i dont bond well with people because of so much mistrust,but felt attached more to animals because they are pure in not lying to you on how they feel.i wish in hindsight that i had been a better owner,not paying attention as much and sometimes selfish world i live in,but more his...
As i dug his grave this day,it began to rain...as though a scene in a movie..all sequential moments leading to the next scene change as to whats next...
Needless to say..dont go a day without showing affection towards your pet (s)as this life,their lives and even our own are limited and sometimes on borrowed time just long enough to say your peace and goodbyes
I say this with a saddened a heavy heart..knowing some have yet to go through this and some that already have many times.i write this openly in lieu of some small personal therapy that only time will heal.for now i must grieve in silence to mend myself that,at this time i am somewhat broken... 
in instances such as these,you realize that in a moments pause,anything you ever built up or towards to..means nothing and are left distraught in a void in time lapsed...
Now my room feels empty,even though i still have my female cat..and hear him meowing in a different tone and me expecting to see him,but dont as i then gaze to the makeshift grave marker outside my window where he now lies...and is from now in this time and eternally in my heavy heart... |
Last edited by radrob on Thu Jan 19, 2017 3:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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| mettuchi |
| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 3:18 am |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 25 Dec 2008
Posts: 4842
Location: Turkey
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Rest in Peace little furry Angel! I am so sorry for your loss brother. i also choose animals to humans everyday! when my Mario (my pug) died 3 years ago i felt the same! everything was so empty. I must admit i still have the same pain and everyday i think about him. I find it that it is best to remember them everyday in their honour!
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| Colin05 |
| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 4:37 am |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 07 Jan 2013
Posts: 3666
Location: Sydney, Australia
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Rest in peace little kitty.
So very sorry for your loss.
Thank you for writing this. |
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| slob-air |
| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 7:31 am |
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Site Admin
Joined: 27 Oct 2001
Posts: 63528
Location: S&B HQ
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| Obed |
| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 7:40 am |
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Joined: 06 May 2015
Posts: 445
Location: Fuckin' Canuck
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| So sorry to hear of your loss. Keeks rule. One of my guys passed in a similar fashion, I had taken off for the weekend and when I returned home he wasn't waiting for me as usual. I asked my roommates where he was. They didn't know. He was in my room, lifeless. I was a ruinous mess for a long time. It's never easy to lose a life you care for. I too would rather be around animals than humans for the most part. All I can offer is remember the good times, keep his memory in your heart and know there's no more suffering/pain for your friend. All the best in this trying time from up North. |
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| surfmurse |
| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:45 am |
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Joined: 10 Jul 2008
Posts: 1335
Location: Jax Bch, FL
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| Bummer Holmes, RIP |
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| JDN |
| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 11:58 am |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 23 Dec 2015
Posts: 654
Location: dirty south
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Sorry to hear
Toughest time I've had is when one of my dogs died a few yrs ago. |
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| San Diego Oldschooler |
| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 12:32 pm |
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Joined: 03 Oct 2003
Posts: 2832
Location: Down South in San Diego
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This always brings me comfort when losing a furry loved one:
The Rainbow Bridge Poem
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
We lost our 18 year old orange tabby late last year. Our 14 year old lab is on his last legs, will probably not make it to next year. Love them while you can, they are the sweetest, loving creatures that God has given us as a gift.
SDO |
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| zeno01 |
| Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 5:25 pm |
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ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 5859
Location: Fargo, ND
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| Sorry to hear it, Rob. |
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| XLARGE |
| Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2017 8:35 am |
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Joined: 26 Feb 2013
Posts: 387
Location: GERMANY
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I totally feel for you and I wish you all the best mate.
It will take a lot of time to heal and you will never forget, thats for sure!
I lost two cats within the last 2 years and I'm still sad and think about them everyday!
The mother of those cats were raised in our house and both lived here from day one, that made it extra hard for me! |
Last edited by XLARGE on Sat Jan 21, 2017 7:03 am; edited 1 time in total
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