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Useless posts

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palmer628
Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 12:17 am Reply with quote
ORDER OF THE SKULL ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 24 Feb 2006 Posts: 3479 Location: san jose,california
Oct 8th. Off to Maui. Fuck after the past few months of work this vacation is much needed.

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Looking for Circle A's
Lopes mini top of list
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swelbow
Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 10:59 pm Reply with quote
ORDER OF THE SKULL ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 29 Nov 2009 Posts: 649 Location: lonely desert
Get a dog, yell at it for barking

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super sonic skate park
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canadian_dream
Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:47 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 13 Oct 2017 Posts: 11
I need moar Porno!
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Crazy Nick
Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 8:35 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 29 Jun 2007 Posts: 1812 Location: Santa Ana
My wife asked me to drive her to CVS kinda late last night to buy some aspirin.
When we parked she started opening her door and looked at me like aint I gonna go with her. I was like "it takes two people to buy aspirin?" She says "that's not the point, it's late and you shouldn't let me go alone!!!".
So I get out of the car and as we're walking through the parking lot I reach for her hand and she shruggs my hand away. I can tell she was getting pissed so I said "Whatever Melania"

Even she had to laugh at that one..

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"What part of Mexico are you from? O.C. Bitch!!!!"
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bltvah
Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2017 8:29 pm Reply with quote
ORDER OF THE SKULL ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 08 Jul 2014 Posts: 1071 Location: Gatineau, Quebec Canada
Crazy Nick wrote:
Buddur wrote:
Yesterday I was at the supermarket checking out and the total was $14.92. I said fourteen ninety-two, eh? Then asked the clerk if he knew what happened in fourteen-hundred and ninety-two, and he didn't know.

So I said "In fourteen-hundred and ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue." To which the clerk replied "No, that was SIXTEEN-hundred and ninety-two."

I had to try figure out who was right http://www.discoverjamaica.com/history1.htm


that's obvious


Just kidding - me too!

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bltvah
Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2017 8:56 pm Reply with quote
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Joined: 08 Jul 2014 Posts: 1071 Location: Gatineau, Quebec Canada
Last time I smoked weed was when I was sharing a place with an old high-school friend - a girl who was dating a drug dealer. He gave me some of his special blend which she warned me not to take, and after he left I lit up with her - 3 short tokes later I'm running my ass off to the bathroom. It was here, kneeling at the toilet, starting to vomit, I get the sudden urge to shit (AT THE SAME TIME) and quickly move to undo my pants and position my ass over the tub beside me so I can not worry so much about the cleanup and still puke in a shit free toilet. (yeah I know, it would've made sense for me to switch positions and sit on the toilet and puke in the tub at this point, but I was already kneeling and this just made fucking sense at the time ok?) Strangely, before I could do anything to get in the right position, my ass slides off the tub edge, and I lose the ability to use my arms and legs but somehow manage to position my forehead on the toilet seat as best I could not to drown. After about 10 minutes like this, sporadically spraying shit and vomit everywhere and thinking about the "poison signs" part of the CPR class I took the month before - if you're not familiar with it, they tell you people will start shitting and puking when the body has been poisoned or is close to death. And while this is going through my mind along with my internal voice saying "God please save me, I'll never do this again" I could hear the doorknob turning, my hot roomate saying "Are You O..." and I couldn't do anything to move or keep the door closed that would've prevent her from seeing the brown pollack painting I made EVERYWERE and my Bare shitty ass, her comments quickly change to "OMG - Bernard, if you die, I'm dragging your corpse to the elevator and pressing ground". The next day, I'm sporting this huge half moon dent on my face and she explains that there was speed mixed in with the weed. Confronted with the reality, there was still a bathroom to clean, I realized I should have heeded her warning. She never looked at me in the same light afterwards. True Story

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scs
Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 2:06 pm Reply with quote
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Joined: 04 Oct 2002 Posts: 5536 Location: USA

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charlieee
Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2017 2:56 am Reply with quote
ORDER OF THE SKULL ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 08 Dec 2007 Posts: 1253 Location: Tootgarook.....Australia.
I was in Egypt and got dodgy water off the dudes in the restaurant.
(they gave me local water inside a tampered bottle )
You talk of vomiting and shitting at the same time as being 'close to dying'

TRUE.......I lay on the roof of the hostel I was staying at with shit coming out of my mouth and vomit coming out of my arse.
A South African tourist was stroking my head as my body was jerking and cramping in convulsions .......I was fully naked shitting like a fire hydrant and cramp spewing for hours........She was crying , praying that I wouldn't die.

When I saw her the next day.........She was hot.....


She was leaving ......I tried to thank her but she was traumatized......and she just stood there shaking her head.

Fuck........spewin'.......she was gorgeous .......I fucked up.
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bltvah
Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:45 pm Reply with quote
ORDER OF THE SKULL ORDER OF THE SKULL
Joined: 08 Jul 2014 Posts: 1071 Location: Gatineau, Quebec Canada
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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Blue TG Dagger with Wheel Wells
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Neptune Shark Tail
Grosso AiW
Lucero Creature X1
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zeno01
Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2017 5:12 pm Reply with quote
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Joined: 12 Jan 2007 Posts: 5841 Location: Fargo, ND
Bummer, bro!!!
(but hey, at least you didn't die)

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Lurkin' hard or hardly lurkin?!?!
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